Offline

Meh. My phone line has been on the fritz and barely works, which means my internet connection doesn't work. So the good news is, I'm more inaccessable than ever. Now my friends don't have to worry about accidentally calling me or seeing me online and reading my away message. So here I am at the library getting my website fix, and blogging, blogging. I really need to go ahead and call the cable company to order fast internet that actually works, but I keep putting it off. You know, the weather's starting to get nice. Maybe I should just wean myself off this habit, sell my computer, and go enjoy the great outdoors. Forever will I be a child of the land, shunning technology in favor of nature's gifts.

The Biggest Strawberry in the Entire World

I'm scared of this thing. It's a monster. Normally I don't worry about genetically modified food, but this is just wrong. Strawberries are supposed to be small. This one is morbidly obese. See how the meaty berry part has grown AROUND the stem? That's not right. The ones we grow here in the garden are small, but they taste so much better. It's a travesty, that's what it is.

This rant on something nobody else cares about has been brought to you by the Citizens Against Freakin Huge Fruit awareness council.

Blog Entry

(4 u sue, u axed 4 it.)(featuring spelling errors taht are intentionally left unfixes!!11@)

Tonite at teh cheeze party (which, parentheses, tedned to be more of a mouse party) i was looking at some of suzin's photos wherein a guy was singing into a microphone and I thougth, (I had this thought before but the picture brot the memory back):

What if there was a kind of an alien parasite that jumped down people's throaghts, and it was shaped a microphone? All those singers are just asking to be infested. It looks like they are trying to eat the microphone, or taking a big bite out of a black plasitc ice cream cone. This theory begs tjhe question, what's the life cycle of such a creature? Where does it stay after it gets in your mouth? Is something going to burst out of your chest like that thing in Alien? Maybe you start crapping out little baby microphones. Makes you think twice before you decide to be a singer or take the gang out for a rousing night of karaoeke. DOESN'T IT! IT'S ONE OF MY GREATEDST FEARS. AND NOW THAT IT'S IN YOUR PSYCHE, IT'S YOURS, TOO.

So like I said, this theory sprung from the dark EERIE recesses of my mind during THE CHEEZE PARTY, and I entertained notions of sharing with the group., however, nobody, no confidant was next to me to hear my confessions and rantings. So I kept shut. See this is why i say hanging with two or three people is more fun than being in a group. I can't very bloody wel stand up and say "May I have your attention everybody: wuldn't it be weird if microphones are trying to junp dwn everybodys' throaghts?" No sir/mamm. I haave no problem freaking out a couple of people at once, but not a whole room. Carl's crazyness is best administererd undiluted. take me straight, if you can handle it.